who cares? i choose to bitch, u can choose not to listen

for months, i kept having the urge to update my blog. i had so much to write that i dun even know where to start.

it's amazing how life can do a fast twist and turn.

but after all these months, i am officially announcing this:

screwed it. i dun care if anyone reads it and get upset by my words.

or thinks i am a bitch and do nothing but whine.

or feels that an alien kidnapped the old apes and replace it with another replica that has no feelings.

shouldn't this be a venue for me to rant? so why should i even bother how other would feel?

like i said: i have made my decision to bitch. u can choose to ignore.

because of what happen last year, i kinda dreaded "the day" coming.

i waited for almost 6 hours before u turn up and act as if it was no big deal.

i voiced out my unhappiness and u told me not to be petty.

we join the rest like usual. squash & mj

and that was it.

my mum promise me she would make my favourite dishes on that day.

and she called to cancel cox she's afraid that my nephew is hungry by the time i come home for dinner. and the whole family ate without me.

and that was it.

i dun need fancy dinners, huge parties or expensive gifts.

i just need to feel that whatever action u take, it comes from your heart.

and that was it.

the beauty of it all

finally. a quiet moment in the office.

it hasn't been exactly been that peaceful recently. the tension in the office makes one go crazy. and as usual, i have been warned that it's a strict no no to rant in the blog.

sad to say, i dread coming to work.. dun get me wrong, i love my job.

just that the aura in this place has turned into a nightmare for one to step in.

and the rate for your blood to boil is so freaking fast that it really takes a strong heart to enter into this place.

the only consolation is to knoe that pple are still willing to listen to my rantings.

it's just simply a great relief to have great friends to remind u that it's worth every single moment to be alive.

and i would have to thank God for blessing me with true friendship instead of beauty. hahah.

talking about beauty. i almost choked to death when i logged onto my facebook this morning to find my younger days pictures posted up by my buddies.

imagine in the older times when there ain't any digital camera! they actually scan in the hard copies!

and these pictures that i have never thought i would get to see it for the rest of my life brings back great memories!

in actually fact, i didn't even remember taking it before!

but it really cracked me up. to see how amazingly "nerdy"n "naive" looking i was back then.

hahaha, so pple here's a sneak preview of how i look:

and just in case u couldn't recognise me, i am the one on the right.

well, go ahead and laugh. cox even i couldn't resist giggling non stop when i saw this picture. and joelyn looks like a princess next to me!

but hey, despite looking like that i actually had suitors!

hahahah, it also means that i have an "irresistible charming side of me" that attracts despite of my ugly appearance!

It's beauty that captures your
attention; personality which captures your
heart.

just came back from a family trip outing in taiwan. it's been close to 2 years since i last travelled. been looking forward for a break to seek for a direction.. i really needed one after all that happened.. but i realised i couldn't.

somehow or rather, i dun feel happy. regardless it's my worklife or my love life, i can't seem to find a reason for me to be happy. dun get me wrong, i am very grateful and blessed with good friends and family.

but recently i feel empty. really empty inside. with no directions and intentions towards my life, i felt like i am just passing each day as it is with no drive at all. i seem to have lose passion in many things. i begin to bottle my emotions to myself.

these days, i would rather spend time hiding in my room. believe me, i know this is not the solution to it. but it brings me comfort to a certain level. i can not lie and tell u i am not in depression. i am. i kinda lost my trust in things i do, pple i used to believe in and even the fact that i can acheive much more in my life.

i need a motivation. and i am still trying to look for it. i am tired. i need a good charge up to look for positive things in life. somebody help me. please

CNY came and pass. plenty of good news to start off the new year. besides TK and Mel, Sam & Wendy are getting married this year end too! that's makes it the 4th wedding i would have rsvp this year!

on top of that, Desiree and Dennis just announced their latest addition to the "D" family- Dominic! not forgeting the celebration of jeraymin's baby girl Odelia"s 1st year bdae!

Gosh, time really flies. seems like everyone is ready to settle down and here i am at a crossroad still thinking of which direction to head to..

meantime, i shall be helping out at my auntie's place (http://www.artnroses.sg) selling flowers on valentine's day. hopefully Cupid will spot me there.

life is never fair.

and i so tempted to lock my blog so that i can really rant. or at the very least i have somewhere to vent my anger on.

otherwise take the Dorrin's footsteps. take the risk then end up shutting the site down.

i am already trying my very best not to curse and swear during CNY. pple say it's not good luck to argue.

but hey, u expect me to keep quiet when i gana informed of a 35% pay cut just before CNY? WOW. HOW thoughtful.

i couldn't even tell my mum the truth else she will insist that we shouldn't go for the family trip and "the rainy day has come".

thank GOD for giving me a sister that helps to plan ahead and make me start saving for it since last year. else i would never forgive myself for disappointing my old darlings at home.

i am so "eating grass"..

a new start

2008 came and left.

not a very good year for me... fell down the stairs, failed in my relationship, having issues with my work life..

but generally, i ended my year with a fresh beginning countdown at the church. for the first time in life, i actually felt contented without doing the countdown in a club. perhaps it's the age or the focus of my life has changed?

when pple ask me what's my new year resolutions, i could really think of many.. but eventually i only want to be myself and be happy.

in life, u gain some & u lose some..

thank you God for blessing me with good friends and family that stood by me over time.