i can't take it anymore. i can feel that my behaviour is getting weirder by the day. i freak out at every tiny lill thing that happens.

i dun understand wat is wrong with me. i just wana tuck into a corner of my bed and pretend i dun exist. i no longer picks up calls.. i believe this is the start of my freak out days..

i freak out when i was at his house the other night. he fell asleep at the sofa and i was just staring at him. the familiar sight was just unbelievable pain to me.. i could hardly breathe and ended up sleeping in bed sobbing in slient.

i felt a fear in my heart. it felt like being in a place that you are so used to but yet feel like a stranger.. i realised it's has nothing to do with him. it's just me who can't deal my own emotions anymore..

i could no longer grasp what's in front of me. it's like a child that wouldn't dare to step near to the edge of the pool once almost drowned before..

everything just seems so overwhelming. and yet the only thing i could do is just be vulnerable and fall into pieces..

if it's not for all of you that held me close when i fall, i would probably be worse than now.

if it's not for him who gave me patience all these while, i might not even be able to stand up anymore..

if there's no love, there would be no hurt..

happily ever after

do u believe in fairy tales?

the "lived happily ever after" couple?

the knight that will rescue the princess from the horrible dragon that eats everything?

the magic true love kiss that transform the frog into a prince?

that wakes the sleeping beauty from the deep sleep?

that turns the beast into the handsome prince?

i used to day dream that i get to be that princess who just got lucky and falls for a man..

who will do nothing but protect the princess and see her as the only important woman in his life.

that he would fend off all nasty monsters that bullies her.

would kiss her passionately while holding her in his arms tightly.

would cherish and love her till "happily ever after".

i know i am not the prettiest, the hottest, the smartest.

but i wished to be loved the way every woman desired. that her man would only see her in his eyes.

and let her know that she is more important than anything else in the world.

that you can feel that he really wants u when he hugs and kiss you.

be it rich or poor,

good looking or ugly,

fat or skinny,

an ogre or a prince,

he just need to be the knight in my heart..

meantime, i shall be in the fortress waiting for the right one to lift the curse off me and rub the magic love dust so that i can live happily ever after too..