Enough is enough. i am constantly being watched at the time!

eat one mouth,pple go tsk tsk tsk... hold one plate, pple go aiyo!

i flipped thru my previous pictures taken when i first knew kev and the rest.. such a *sizzling hot** babe lor! now i look like a hot mama..

i have decided. it's time to make heads turn once again. my fan club shall return when i am back to the "wah, chio bu!" days. hahah.

my new year resolution: to get my license and to lose weight.(AFTER CHINESE NEW YEAR) both sound so diffcult cause i dun have determination to do it.. how..

so i tried by giving my friends chocolate this year. let them turn fat then nobody will realised i am also growing at the same time.

beng> i didn't give u cox u will never grow fat.

andy> i will seriously not talk to u if i hear words saying that u are on a diet.. (u are turning ah beng size lor..)

so here's my cheers to a coming new year! merry christmas and a blessed new year! enjoy the holidays!

sometimes i wonder if life is playing a trick on me...

just hours before my flight......

MY MENSES CAME.

Great. just great.

Arggggghhh!!!!!!!!!!

u sure it's a holiday?

time checked: 3 days to my korea trip. technically it's 4 days since it's a after 12midnight flight.

luggage NOT packed. work NOT completed. handover sounds damn bloody far.

my room is in a huge mess. i am sleeping with like bags of chips near my bed.

suffering from mild depression. christmas presents NOT bought. christmas cards NOT written. christmas dress NOT found. all i have is a "feel short, feel fat n feel ugly" ME.

which is why it's leading me to depression. which explains the comfort food near my bed. which explain my size. and my foul mood.

the fact that my boss is lying in the bedroom watching tv is NOT helping either.and he can tell me that it's time for me to buck up.hah.

which makes me wana ask this: "u sure it's a holiday? how come i am feeling wornout before the fun starts?

i hate stabbers

if u have the guts, stab me at my heart.

Stab me where i can see you face to face. not from the back.

don't give me that u think u know everything and use all sorts of reasons to hit me below the belt. that's what i call an unworthy opponent.

if u think u can do that to me cause i am a weak female, i will show you the ruthless side of me where u would experience the meaning of " u can offend a cad, but never offend a woman".

if u wana stab me, make sure i am in such a pathetic state that i can never fight back. cause if i get up again, i will breathe down your neck so bad that u regret u ever try to stab me.

Fight like u will never fight again or u will be stabbed in return.

tributes to an old friend

Life can be cruel at times. specially when u least expecting it to hit u.

i woke up receiving a sms from an old friend saying that ah bu died. from a bike accident. and they are cremating him today.

Ah bu was a tall, friendly indian guy that i knew him since i was in my teens. i knew him from the movies, (i was working part time in a movie theatre) but i couldn't remember him cause i left shortly after he started work.

few years later, i was introduced to him again during my working days in Boat Quay.he was working in one of the pubs at the front row along the riverside. the very typical beng kind of disco with mirrors to watch yourself dance.

it wasn't then i realised that he shifted to my house opp. as in literally opposite my blk where we can see each other on our own units. (those who came to my house before would understand)

he would hitch a ride with me after work at times since i could claim my fare. oncee he helped me when a lesbian followed me all the way home and stayed till she left. then he would make his way home and waved to me with a smile coz i had promised to blancha him drinks if he got rid of her.

i dun get to see him anymore after i quit from my pub days. occassionally i would bump into him on my way home and he would update me abt his life and our old friends. he would also invite me to his house on when he meets up with our friends during festive seasons.

if u had been to the colour bar at boat quay with me before,u might have remembered him. he was the one behaving very weird and appear drunk. at that point, i was shocked to see how much he has changed.

the last time i had seen him was when i saw him in marriot hotel where i was having a meeting with my boss and some korean clients. i didn't even realised he was working there till he came over with our drinks. he didn't tell me his mum passed away and he has long shifted out. yet i could feel that he was beck to his friendly and cheerful self.

but he has left us. it was so sudden that you dun know what to react. i was sitting in a daze for at least ten minutes before i decided that i didn't want to go to the wake. not that i am heartless but i rather remeber his smile at marriot than to see him lying there with his wounds.i rather type out my last words to keep him in my memories.i believe he would be able to hear me.

goodbye my old friend. i pray that u would be happy and blessed at the other side of the rainbow. sorry for not seeing you to your last journey. u get to scold me when i see u at the other side of the rainbow. my memories of you would be kept in a box and we would share it then. till then, it's goodbye for now.

can life be a bed of roses?

life can be weird at times. u never when the person that's sleeping next to you today could be just right out of life..

the person that's closest to your heart can just seem so distant away. could be lover for the moment and stranger the next. could promise to be friends forever, but u see yourself alone when u needed them.

seen loads of examples around my life.. even experience it myself. then i realised this. this is life. in life u make choices. and u tell yourself no regrets. no matter what happens. then u found out that be it a big or small decision, there will definately be time when u make mistakes. u admit it, and u live with it. that's life.

i know the only fellow that will never abandon me is watching me at this moment now. and i pray that he would forgive me of all my sins and continue to love me. i love you too.amen.

did i tell u i am having a feel fat month? and a feeel fat week + a feel fat day? i am just feeling fat every single moment. my arms are horrifying HUGE!!

recently i just have no urge to do anything. just wana lay back in bed at home everyday and be a lump of fats. eat chips.. drink coke... eat chips again.. watch my "lovely samsoon" who reminds me of myself. getting nearer to the 30 bench mark, fat and not hot like a model. but she has a kind heart and lovely character, which is much like me too.. hehehe.

haiz... when will my fat days be over? loads of festive seasons and birthdays coming up means i am going to gorge on mooncakes and BIG meals.. which means going on a diet after that! but i belong to the "gong nia" group. all say but no action.

god, please give me a push to make me a more hardworking girl...

haiz..

i have a problem. i guess all of us have more than one. and i'll bet non give 2 hoots about it. cox problems just pops back everytime i solve one. damn.

just the other day, i went to my sec gf's baby's one month celebration. there were 2 sms circulating. first one was invited on 1 st sept (friday)at 6.30pm. second one was to inform that date was change from 1st to 2nd sept (sat) 1pm..

friends who knows me would guess i went there on friday right? WRONG! i may be dumb but not stupid enough. i went on sat! but at 4pm, my friend called screaming that i tua her. then i was dumbfound cox i was wrapping her gift at home. turns out i didn't realised time was at 1pm and NOT 630pm. haiz.. i blew it again..

does the problem lies with me? haiz.. into depression once again.

finally..

finally, i'm making the time and effort to blog.

haven't been having the best time of my life cox loads of crap has been happening. from the major ones like my mum having an op, dropping my only communication tool into sugar cane water to the minor ones like gana scratch from my monsterous nephew,cooking at least twice a week, having hangovers from alcohol and mj. heh heh.

before i go on blah blah ing, a huge congrats to for the bdae boy, yang. this year is not too smooth for you so hope that my blessings will reach you and turn into lill angels to protect you k? :)

dun know why i am like aching all over which i suspect could be from the long hours dancing and drinking at MOS just the other night. though it was a farewell thingy for mussel, i guess end up i got high+ kev+ karen and her gfs+ Andy. heh heh, too much to drink to remeber the rest. but hey mussel, we will sure miss u and your ah peh patterns till sept.

till then, i'll pop over once i'm free. boss coming over my directions!!

P/S beng: *apes pats on beng's back and says: "congrats to your pay raise. Jia you!"

how not to cry?

i know this should have been up way before. no matter how late it will be, i shall not forget my thank yous for making this lau chai's bdae a much more special one. big or small, u guys played a part.

the darling girls: (mitch, jaz, clarice, gee and zhu gong) for holding a pre celebration c/w elmo's party hat (ala kids' size) + cake and dinner. not forgetting booze, games and quality girls' time as well.

my favourite client: joanne who attempted to surprise me with a bdae cake but came a tad too late cause the delivery man called me first. heh heh.

my family: my elder sis and bro in law gave me this crazy frog softtoy that goes : brroonnggg... brrrooommm... non stop when u press the tummy. my nephew that took over the gift since it was alill scary to play with. my younger sis bug who gave me this gift wid her heart.one of my favourite author's latest paperpack. autographed copy. WOW.

all my old and new friends who sms me happy birthday before and after the actual dae. secondary,poly,ex colleagues, NNTetc.. one called from Tainan and sang me a bdae song!

my boss who actually bought me a spa package to feel pampered and giving me extra days off.

my secret admirer: it is a really thoughtful thing that u send the flowers to my place the moment the clock strikes 12. whoever u are, i am rerally flattered by your kindness.

my special birthday party: i would have least expected it. i did it for hanny, muscle and gary. but never have i expect a surprise party for me. though o embarassed by bawling like a baby and couldn't stop tearing when i know all did it out of love for me.

Raj: a friend that is so new yet so old. his actions are so endearing that i am glad to have been part of his life.

Jaz: one who never forgets to bring me back to the good old times with laughter.

hanny and chrystal: this special couple that actually gave me their pix with the gift.one that went to the extra mile.

TK and mel: she was holding me when i wailed loud. he makes the effort to stay long than i tot he would.actions shows it all.

Ivan and karen: my favourite mahjong kakis. who surprised me with the telepathy they have. and the purse to replace my watermelon.my newly formed aljunied gang.

Andy(aka ah lau)and jason: both who cares but keeps a low profile about it.

gary and david: how to thank them? they drank my puke! that's already a statement!

Regan and samantha: that sweet guy actually bought me a gift!

beng: my favourite gossip provider and endearing bro who sms me a bdae song.

muscle and yang: one sms me and the other, an email. it touches my heart no matter how far u are.

my darling pumpkin and his family: what else can i say? he bought me my pumps and bag cox he knows i love them. surprise me with the bdae party cox he knows where to score the brownie points. whether it was the mysterious admirer that prompted him, he has never failed to be my pillar of support that take shitz from me all the time. how not to fall in love with the man who knows where your soft spots are?

with my deepest gratitude, i thank god for blessing me with these beautiful people (named or unnamed) that helps to create beautiful memories in my life. filled with happiness and joy, i prayed that each and everyone would be blessed with the same if not more beautiful pple to create more precious moments in each's lives.AMEN.

another klutzy storieee

alright. it's time for the ocassionally klutzy story again..

just last sunday,bf was lying on the bed (a really tiny one). i attempt to do a stunt. no,no, not those "i try to act sexy and catch his attention stunt". it's more of a "squeeze him out of bed so that i have space to read 8 days" stunt.

bad move. why? because he has tons of pants lying on the corner of the bed. and when a klutz try to do a stunt, chances are it will NEVER work.
as i jump in from the corner,i got scratch by one of the bloody belt buckle. bloody alright.
from a whheeeee to a waaaaaaoouuuch! right knee was awarded with a scar for acting brave but clumsy. bf can jumped off the bed and complain me occupying too much space.
i tried boo hoo when i told him i injuried my knee while jumping in.
his reply? "yah right. just trying to get attention right?" then he walk out of the room. i was like: ????????

waited for a long time before he return back to the room (i swear he must be eating in the kitchen without me). i purposely show him my bleeding wound as i complain about his stupid pants on the bed.they should belong to the cupboard or else the floor (like my room). but never on the bed! too dangerous for klutz like me. he end up cleaning my poor knee with a guilt on his face. heh heh. that look is priceless.

till then, klutzy apes signing off....

call me the kissing queen!

You Are a Passionate Kisser

You are the most likely type to kiss a sexy stranger Your kissing style is unpredictable and free spirited You could kiss anyone at a drop of a hat It's all about where your passion leads you

What's Your Kissing Style?

i also wana join the fun!!!

You Are Most Like Miranda!

While you've had your fair share of romance, men don't come firstGuys are a distant third to your friends and career.And this independence *is* attractive to some men, in measured doses.Remember that if you imagine the best outcome, it might just happen. Romantic prediction: Someone from your past is waiting to reconnect... But you'll have to think of him differently, if you want things to work.

Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You?

this is crazy but this is me

i thought i understand myself pretty well. i tot i am already quite hopeless when it comes to the word klutz. but i have "up" the level once again.

just yesterday, i told myself that it is supposed to be a "pretend to be a princess day". so i took a 40 minutes long shower and plonked myself onto my bed and nuah. wanted to splatter body lotion all over but couldn't find my favourite cox my buggy sis brought to her office. so saw a bottle of bodyshop moonflower lotion in the drawer. decided not to be too fussy, i open the bottle and used it.

the minute i smear it on my thighs, it didn't seem right. too sticky and not like the usual moisturiser. pissed off. i assumed that it was in the drawer tooo long so became like that. but pour out too much and didn't want it to go to waste. smeared over arms and feet. supposed to be a princess but feels like some sticky crap instead.

2 minutes later. feeling grumpy. because during the tv commercials, i realised i forgot to cap the lotion. as i reached for the bottle, i blinked. 457876203967 times. because it wasn't a body lotion. it was a body shower cream. SHOWER CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! arghhhhh...........................

i end up going to the bathroom and washed it off again. no wonder it was soo damn sticky. if my sis didn't take away the body lotion, i wouldn't have to take a shower twice. @#^^*$&%@#

my latest bitching

everyone has knowledge about things they are familiar with.
like jaz, it's trading.
my sis- jewellery.
cuzzie chele- loans and insurance
hann TNT guys- trouble shooting.

me- interior designing. construction and building. i may not be the one with the most knowledge in this field. but please dun doubt my advice to you for i have at least 3 years experience if not more. if you doubt i can do a good job, dun even ask. don't make me feel like i am a cheap labour and can't handle these stuff when i have to deal with it almost everyday. call me sensitive or what i dun care. i am tired of getting arrows all over. i need a break.

though i have a pretty long break during the chinese new year, i feel that i seem to have age more! for the entire week it's like an ardent gambler on the loose! just imagine:

28th jan: CNY eve. stay up till 530 am cox my mum isn't asleep yet. believe in staying up on the eve in exchange for a longer life for your parents. actually, it's a blessing in disguise. else i would never slove the mystery of the missing fish. a fish that my mum steam for the reunion dinner was found hours later in the pot.

FORGOTTEN. amazing. and i landed with a huge bruise at my right knee after being attacked by the fallen object frm my wardrobe. not forgetting the huge block of frozen container that hit me right at my tummy when i attempt to open my fridge to get some ice. toking about having a brand new year without accidents. destinated to be a klutz.....

29th Jan: woke up and went off to my godma house to visit the rest of the clan. as usual every year it's the "eat your own relative $$ " with ban luck. won $6 and lost $5 at mahjong. total winnings: $1. went to gary's place after that and swao the rest of the group's $$. heheh total winning: $110.

wonder if it has anything to do with my hot pink underwear. left at 5? 6? am looking horrible with mascara running.

30th jan: relatives swarming to my home with the fact that my parents wana hao lian the new items in the house. guess i kinda did them proud. joined kev to visit auntie pat. had dinner with them and went to PVD after that.

almost got myself into a fight. haha, my ah lian pattern came out and i guess that look freak that guy out. went back like wee hours again after supper

31jan: got the word spread last minute to ask the group to come over to my place. time given to them was at 4pm. by 630pm, i still dun have a single one there yet. amazing group of pple.

won yang close to $24 just on a one to one ban luck since he was the only one first. heheh, he doesn't seem to have much luck. total winning for the night: $95. had to cover kev's losses else would have been more. slept like 3 am. earlier than the previous nights

01 feb: went for a client's opening cermony at 10 plus am. watch the lousy lion's troupe attempting to throw "kum aka gold" into the company's entrance. supposed to bring fortune to the company and all my clients stood there to catch the kums. they ended up kana wacked by the oranges cox the "lion" apparently had lousy throwing skills.

hit them like all over the body like paintball rather than catching. supposed to hit it in and end up hit the ceiling and fell right in front of the entrance. splatter the place with orange juice instead. after that went back to the office for good luck and spend the rest of my time playing games. then went to watch "huo yuan jia" with kev.

02feb: went over to gee's place for a all night majong session. major winner: jaz winning around close to 300? i was losing but ended up covering my losses and won $20.

was feeling happy until i realised then my dear bf lost to gee and the $$ flew off my hands again. started from 5 30pm and ended at 6 plus am

03feb: reach at 7 am to my gf's house to be a jie mei. meaning to sabo the bridegroom and demand $$ at the door. was the only one negotiating cox the rest are not as loud. poor fellow had to eat like sour plums added with lemon juice and tomatoes filled with wasabi. he puked like right in front of me!

sometimes i wonder if retribution would get to me.. hahah, who cares? did you know that when the bride toss the flowers, die die have to catch it even if u dun want it? else u will have 3 years of bad luck! did you know that you are not supposed to be a jie mei too often? you would end up not marrying! hhmm... wonder how true is that.

but i DO know that if any of the guys in the group were to get married, they shall die in the "sisters" hand! specially pple like hann... dun say i never warn u ar, better treat me nicer else your big day u will gana!

04th feb: never slept well since i was playing "high mahjong" the night before. couldn't remeber how much i lost but sure knows i lost more when i went over to ivan's house! won like close to $100 before hann came over and swao all my $$$. so total lost was close to 70 for me and 50 for kev.. went home lilke early morning again...

isn't this supposed to be a break week for me? i end up feeling more tired than my working days.

FAT PEOPLE ARE HARDER TO KIDNAP

finally. it's been more than a month since i last blog. here goes:

i know i have been kinda missing in action. specially to my darlin gals and my precious bro beng. my 2005 left without a bam and my 2006 just arrived with like not much difference. tot that my chinese new year is gona be my "secretly go on diet and reborn as a beauty retreat" but i guess it's gona be burn also cox my boss is going on a holiday... (AGAIN...) and with the new job site starting so soon that i would end up as a fat ass beauty instead.

i know this sounds weird but i have kinda decided to cut my hair short. not really short short like wendy's kind of short but short short like almost karen kind of short. hmm... get it? aiya, basically i think i need a new look.

i know pple are asking me not to take the risk of cutting it too short but after much thinking, here are the good and bad:

good

short is the new thing. (including height, haha)

i can save on shampoo. (and conditioner)

lesser bad hair days since no need to style

can feel "light- headed" without getting drunk

look like a totally different person so bf woudn't get bored with the same old me (but cold jokes would still be around)

bad

i might look older rather than young and chio. heh

my bf might get a shock how ugly i can be with short hair and break up with me immediately

i would end up having an awful cny with a bad hair cut.

according to beng, i belong to a luo han clan and being the princess there it's not wise to cut my hair short cox it shows my fat face.

so what if i am fat? i guess i rather be a prata face and save $$ on shampoo and conditioner. besides, fat pple are harder to kidnap.