this gal has lost her confidence and seek peace in hiding.

she thinks that by hiding in her bed, her world might change for the better. she knows that it is a form of denial and she wish she could snap out of it too.

but at the very least her pillow can bring her the the only comfort that will not fail her, will not bitch behind her, will not mock her.

she choose to walk away not because she doesn't love him anymore. or to look for another greener pasture. she just simply wants to heal the wounds that is so deep that till today it hurts.

she doesn't need sympathy. this old lady just needs time because she's lost and she has to find her answers.

the hurt is deeply than you think..

Yangie bdae

Sorry for the delay in these pictures.. went for the pre celebration for yangie's bdae dinner at Alexandra Village and after that went for a "chop chop" durian session at 4 season's durian cafe! guess it's was the fastest durian eating session ever cox it started raining and we hardly had any shelter! happy belated bdae again yangie!



*smile* click* prays to strike toto* smile*click* blows* mission accomplished


couples in da house!

after dinner bdae boy suggest that we eat durians for dessert! Nobody says NO to bdae boy so off from AV to still road 4 seasons durian cafe! there was like 20 of us?

all separated into different cars as it starts to drizzle on the way. i was like the last few to arrive in kev's car and by the time i reached it was erm... POURING!!!! that tiny lill shelter can hardly contain all of us! nevertheless, it can not stop us from feasting!






Caught in the act! sam> u should sell lu lian instead of bah kwa!


who are the gluttons? caught!

See! first take by Tk shows that yangie umbrella is only sheltering himself!

After much complain, yangie switches the umbrella to my side! hahaha u can stand under my umbrella, u can stand under my umbrella, ella, ella, ella, eh eh eh

case of the missing keys

i lost my keys.

yes, i know it's a typical thing for an apes to lose her keys but she usually finds it back!

but this time round, my keys really just "poof" and disappear into thin air.. and since last week!

i only discovered it like last Friday when i didn't have my keys to open the office doors.

you see, my home keys and my office keys are bundled together.. so when my dad opens the door for me when i go home in the night, i safely assumed that it's in my bag...

Asked my dad. got scolding. asked my mum. got another scolding. searched dom's car. nothing. searched kev's car. also nothing..

despite recalling where it is and searching for it high and low, i just can't find it!

sometimes the harder u try looking for something, u can be sure you won't see it even if it's right in front of you.

i have duplicate an entire new set. and now hopefully i can get the same key tag again..

my time seems to zoom pass me.

there are so many things to do and yet i just simply wana drop everything.

there will be times when i feel that i am just following the crowd and moving on with time.

Other times i will just snap back to reality and start to hang out with friends and pretend my life is normal as usual. let's recap what i did recently (in no particular order) :

• went singing with beng and jaz.
• celebrated mitch's bdae
• saw the sunrise in east coast with kev
• helped beng choose bdae present for dad
• be a volunteer for a charity walk at fort canning
• went butterfactory
• did a new pair of glasses cox my eyesight is getting from bad to worse
• had a potluck at cuzzie erik's place- "durian tiramisu" was rated not too bad
• burger party at kev's house
• Jas and TK's bdae dinner
• mj session or was it sessions?
• doing my auntie hubber stunts at watson's mega sales
• "match making" session at karaoke
• thai disco (yes, i dun believe it either)
• "strip" so that i can remeber the pain
• Sing fest at fort canning (special thanks to jason for making it happen!)

my memory is slowly lapsing into the recycle bin where i can hardly remeber what i did for these weekends. it took me a very long time to stare at the calendar and recall the list above. and they are jumbled..

more to come:

• collection of altered dress (gathering dust at the shop for months)
• shopping for gifts that were long overdue..
• yangie's bdae dinner
• boat trip!
• Kelong "strictly no man" party
• eyelashes perming/ brows trimming
• Flashing of "Qimong" / IPL underarm
• cleaning of room (which is like a legend)
• bladding
• connections with GOD
• celebrating National day
• girls night out for return of ice queen
• more match making sessions and hopefully no more thai disco!

despite all these, i feel kinda empty. and i know i haven't been there when u need me the most.. i'm sorry.

when was the last time i've seen u?

when was the last time i spoke with my heart?

when was the last time i can type freely and express myself?

i dun remeber. which is why i say i am a lousy friend.

but i do know that having a blog and not being able to pour my frustrations freely is a horrible thing!